Suitcase

This isn't my suitcase, but it might as well be. (Photo credit: Пероша)

I still haven’t quite gotten back into the swing of things Post-Spring Break. For starters, I haven’t unpacked my suitcases (if I need something I just pull it out, making the suitcase really messy and hard to navigate when going for future stuff…), and I’m having a really hard time keeping my room clean (which is usually a sign of my mental state), which means when I feel lazy I end up throwing stuff on to my still-packed suitcase to be put away when I finally unpack (only really it just sits there until I wear it again or decide to throw it in the wash).

I have a project in the works, a really exciting one that I am really thrilled to share (later). Details are forth coming, and said project launches on the 26th of this month (that is not an April Fools joke).

I made some really awesome friends this week and I’m hoping to continue to do really awesome things with them this semester. I suspect I will have more to say about our adventures later.

After hanging out with my new awesome friends (and old awesome friends) last night I went to a party, which I ended up leaving after a single terrible hour and came home feeling terrible about myself and my life. It was one of those times when nothing happened per se, but everything was wrong. After an intense round of self-slut-shaming I curled up in bed feeling sad and defeated and alone. That feeling kind of carried over in to this morning and when I forced my self to go out into the world (for brunch), the sight of other people actually made me sad and confused. But the veil and sadness and melancholy slowly lifted, and after taking a well-earned nap after a long weekend and getting some homework done so I could feel productive, and taking to some friends, I feel much better, and not alone, and the fog of ridiculous self loathing has cleared out so that I can see clearly.

Friday night I went to a club with my friends and danced for hours. It was amazing. I felt so alive and wonderful. I need to do that more often.

Now that I’ve given you this mini-update I’m gonna watch an episode of New Girl and then get to bed.

Sleep well, live well, smile.

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