I’ve always subscribed to the When Harry Met Sally philosophy that (straight) men and women can’t be just friends– at least not long term. Sooner or later someone would develop feelings, even if those feelings later go away or they never do anything about them.

But now I’m kind of pissed about that.

I realized that I a total of one male friend. One! I have male acquaintances and guys I’m ‘friendly’ with, and guys I thought I would be friends with (but then had a When Harry Met Sally moment), but currently I have only one legitimate friendship with a person who doesn’t have ovaries. There was a time in my life when my male friends always out numbered my female friends, but that time is no more.

I am as much to blame for my lack of male friends (or perhaps more) as the men I interact with are, but for a moment I’m going to bitch about them and not me. In a discussion with Belen the other day on why we can’t be friends with a certain group of males, we had the following exchange:

Belen:We need to stay away from [them]
Me: … Yeah.
Belen:That was hesitant.
Me:I had to think about it. But yes, we do.
Belen:We can never be friends with [them].
Me: We just wanna be bros!
Belen:Yeah!
Me:You can be temporary bros, but not real bros. Cause it’s always bros before hoes and we are not bros, we are hoes.
Belen:You just blew my mind.

That exchange was really about two things- 1) we just want to be let into the club! 2) why can’t we just be friends!?

Here’s where I turn things back on myself.

One of my more recent potential male-friendship opportunities took a nose dive after some awkward making out. I knew it was a bad idea, but college hook-up culture and how nice it is to catch someone subtly visually appreciating you when they think you’re not looking and my own desire to be cuddled led me astray. You’ll probably see this topic again when I write about how I don’t listen to my own instincts but I really should. Anyway, I hoped I could avoid said male the following day, then brush it off and continue on down the path of bro-dom.
But bros don’t kiss bros, not even in a bromance.

I don’t know exactly what I’m getting at here, except that I want guy friends, and hereby resolve to improve my (platonic) gender relations.

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